


Homosexual

by Farla



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BTF, Gen, Pesterlog, rbtp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-14 07:23:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farla/pseuds/Farla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt:"I am not a homosexual"<br/>and nobody believes him.<br/>what, a guy can't enjoy movies by an awesome and you-guess-kinda-buff actor who spends a lot of time shirtless WITHOUT being gay?<br/>what do you MEAN you're disappointed, jade?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homosexual

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anonymous).



TG: man i cant believe im saying this  
TG: but you should really just tell egbert  
CG: I DID  
TG: what he turned you down  
TG: sorry dude wasn't expecting that  
TG: he seemed to like you  
CG: OH WE'RE FRIENDS APPARENTLY  
CG: BUT HE SAID HE WASN'T INTERESTED IN MALES  
CG: WHICH IS A THING FOR HUMANS APPARENTLY  
TG: what  
TG: wait  
TG: are you sure you didn't misunderstand something  
TG: like get it backward or something  
CG: I DON'T THINK SO  
CG: HE SAID HE WASN'T HOMOSEXUAL  
CG: THAT IS THE HUMAN WORD YOU USE RIGHT  
TG: huh  
TG: uh  
TG: i need to go talk to him  
TG: do you mind  
CG: HONESTLY I'D BE GLAD FOR THIS CONVERSATION TO END  
CG: FOR ANY REASON  
TG: ok yeah i can see that

\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

TG: hey egbert  
EB: sup!  
TG: so i was just chatting with karkat  
TG: throwing down the sick beats and all that stuff  
TG: owning of course  
TG: anyway long story short he says he told you he liked you  
EB: oh man yeah  
EB: that was awkward  
EB: and it's probably going to get even more awkward  
EB: since we'll be seeing each other in a little while face to face  
EB: i mean if this works and all but I guess this whole predestination thing means it will?  
TG: no john thats retarded  
TG: we have been through this  
TG: we dont know if it works because we dont have anything from the future  
TG: telling us if it did or didnt  
TG: you are my best bro but you should really leave this time shit to me  
EB: ok ok! jeez.  
TG: but anyway thats not what i meant to talk about  
TG: its that you told karkat you weren't homosexual  
EB: well yeah i'm not.  
TG: john you know i am 100% ok with whatever your orientation is  
TG: like seriously  
TG: were at the end of the world and everything  
TG: we are closer than brothers  
TG: unless it turns out you got confused doing the ectobiology thing  
TG: but really the idea rose is my sister makes a lot more sense no offense  
EB: but i'm not a homosexual  
TG: what really  
EB: yes!  
TG: because i wont make fun of you for being one  
TG: that shits uncool  
EB: why don't you believe me?  
TG: well  
TG: its just  
TG: i guess i kind of assumed  
TG: are you really sure  
EB: yes!!!!!!!!  
TG: oh wow pulling out the eights  
TG: yeah thats convincing  
EB: what's that supposed to mean?  
TG: nothing never mind

\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

TT: John.  
EB: hi rose!  
EB: things going ok on your end?  
TT: As well as can be expected.  
TT: But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.  
TT: I just talked to Dave and I wanted to ask you about it.  
EB: what?  
EB: oh  
TT: I realize we've had a lot on our minds.  
TT: And there's been a lot of stress for everyone.  
EB: but i'm not.  
TT: Sometimes people can repress things so much even they don't know about it.  
EB: but it's not like i wrote I AM A HOMOSEXUAL all over my walls  
EB: uh  
EB: i didn't right?  
TT: No.  
EB: right  
TT: But some would say that your decision to mutilate the posters featuring the male leads whose movies you hero worship is suggestive of some deeply conflicted feelings.  
TT: And may have some connection to why the posters are covered in scrawls insulting you.  
EB: that doesn't make any sense  
EB: your psychoanalysis is the thing that's crazy here  
EB: why would i deface pictures of guys if i'm gay?  
TT: Well, if your orientation was a source of stress in your life, you might overcompensate.  
TT: Even blame the people you're attracted to for the feelings, as well as any adults in your life who don't fit into the gender roles that you subconsciously resent.  
TT: While also blaming yourself for being interested, or perhaps because you perceive yourself as having no chance with them.  
TT: I've always felt American cinema is emotionally odd from a homosocial perspective.  
TT: The character given the greatest attention is the male lead and the females are sidelined to the greatest possible degree, yet as the primary motivation tends to be the wife or girlfriend, the hero's own heterosexuality is made plain.  
EB: ok  
EB: i'm not quite sure what all of that means.  
EB: but i'm not gay.  
EB: i kind of thought dave was actually.  
TT: He isn't?  
EB: uh actually  
EB: i guess he didn't tell me either way  
EB: but it would have been a good time to mention  
EB: unless he didn't want to say anything until i said it i guess.  
EB: oh man what if he thinks i'm homophobic now?  
TT: Well you didn't say anything negative did you?  
EB: no but i got upset he kept insisting i was.  
TT: I should probably handle this.  
EB: thanks rose.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -

 

\- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

GG: is it true?????  
EB: is what true?  
GG: that you are not a homosexual!!!!!  
EB: oh  
EB: i'm not  
GG: that's what rose said  
GG: i am kind of disappointed honestly :(  
EB: what? why?  
GG: you and dave seemed like you'd be so cute together! <3  
GG: and your dad could have made an ironic wedding cake for you two!!!!!  
GG: with cute birdies on it.  
EB: i don't want a wedding cake!  
EB: anyway dad would bake it for whoever i married  
EB: or dave married  
EB: or any of us really.  
GG: but if it was for rose it would probably be all black and creepy  
EB: isn't that what an ironic wedding cake would look like anyway?  
GG: i thought maybe it'd be upsidedown  
GG: or maybe it'd look exactly like a normal wedding cake  
GG: and that'd be what was so ironic?  
GG: i don't understand irony that well actually.  
GG: it's really confusing!  
GG: anyway it's okay if you're heterosexual  
GG: i don't think any less of you!!!!  
GG: i just think that the double wedding would have been so cute.  
EB: wait what  
GG: sorry feferi's trying to talk i'll get back to you!

 

\- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

EB: what.


End file.
